Family Relationships

Being the Reverend Father in the church makes a lot of things much easier. One has authority as soon as one speaks even though nowadays some priests are being criticized as well. People look for counselling or an authoritative opinion. But when the priest gets married the whole environment changes!

In a family, anybody can be challenged. Living 24/7 with others one cannot simply pretend to have the last and final word in many matters! Sometimes it's the wife or the son who doesn't agree. Obviously in the beginning it was hard for me to adjust to the new circumstances......

On the other hand I learned a lot of new stuff such as dealing with a normal boy when he stamps his feet down and says no! Other ways of reaching a decision...seeking to know about the other significant other's background......

Sometimes I had to admit that my ways of taking care of a child were not the best in the situation. Anyway, bit by bit I learned how to be in command by taking a lesser aggressive role. In the convent I had a room all by myself. I had my own private space and time. In the family, obviously most of these comforts disappeared. Yet obviously it was compensated by other gifts such as the joy of doing something together. I started a real and practical course in the We-ness ie. working together as a team and not a bunch of individuals!

In this sense I'm learning to celebrate Christmas in a new way. Seeing Jesus in a normal family who had normal tensions and opportunities.......I focused not only on baby jesus (nappies??) but as well when Jesus was an adult and was still living with his parents. How did he manage his priesthood with his family ties?